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  • Peters 4:57 pm on May 30, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Fun Places To Find Singles 

    You’ve heard the same basic list over and over: Grocery store, at the mall, at the coffee shop… Maybe your problem with not finding a way to meet singles is because you’re looking in all the wrong places?

    It’s time to expand your mind and your fishing pond, because by the looks of your Facebook relationship status, it’s not working out too well for you, now is it?

    Next time you’re out looking to meet local women or men, try one of these places:

    • The bark park.
      All single men who have dogs need to take them for a walk. It’s the perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation with someone. You already have something to talk about (the pups), and you won’t need to worry about interrupting his conversation, as we’ve already established his companion for the time being is a dog.
    • A night class.
      You can never stop learning, right? If you’ve been interested in taking a language class, a cooking class, or an anything class, it’s a great place to meet singles who are as interested in academics as you are.
    • The hardware store.
      Most women in hardware stores are single. If they weren’t, then they’d probably send their boyfriends to do the job. And for women, there’s a ton of men there to choose from! The hardware store really is a win-win place to pick up.
    • Multi-seated restaurants. One of my favorite pizza places seats you at a picnic table that holds 10 people. Usually you only go with a few people at most, so you end up sitting and talking with strangers. If you end up connecting with one of them, it’s almost like the first date is already done, and you don’t have to worry about it being awkward because you both had friends there to back you up.
    • A sporting event.
      There’s nothing like seeing a home run and high-fiving the hottie that’s been sitting in front of you all game. Why not use that momentum to start a chat about how the game’s going? You never know, they may just ask you to meet them at the next one.

    If you’re on the hunt for a new boyfriend or girlfriend, think outside the box! Chances are if you try the coffee shop, you’re going to be faced with a lot of competition trying to do the same. Go somewhere a little more unique and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

     

  • Peters 3:19 pm on May 27, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    How To Date Like Taylor Swift 

    What do Taylor Lautner, Joe Jonas, Jake Gyllenhaal, John Mayer and Chord Overstreet have in common? They’re all multi-millionaires, multi-talented, and are all ex-boyfriends of America’s Sweetheart Taylor Swift. For someone who is constantly touring the world, recording new albums, making movies, guest staring in TV shows and creating her own clothing line, I don’t know how she even has time to date. But she does, and she does it well.

    I’m sure all single ladies would love to have a dating record like hers. A pop superstar, an academy award nominee, a star of the biggest movie franchise in the past decade, and one of this generations only truly good musicians? Sign me up for ANY of those!

    But I don’t understand how she does what she does. Once you get past the beautiful curly blonde hair, all you have left is an awkward teenager who is a little Rene Zellweger-esq in the eye department and can’t sing that well. But it looks like these things work for her!

    This is how I assume Taylor Swift managed to get the dating life she has.

    Gain a holier-than-thou image regardless of how many people you have slept around with. Apparently guys will look past the fact that you’ve slept with half of Hollywood (or wherever you live) if you keep a halo above your head. You can find one at any Halloween shop or dollar store. I know Taylor doesn’t literally have one, but she’s famous she doesn’t need one. You probably do.
    Get praise for what you do, even if you don’t do it that well.     If Miss. Swift has taught me anything it’s that when have a job, guys won’t care if you’re good at it, as long as you have one. And as long as you’re hot. That’s why it’s okay for her to sing so poorly, right? Right…?
    Be super surprised anytime you get anything, even if you knew you were getting it. Oh my gosh, a Christmas present?! Oh my gosh, butter for my toast?! Oh my gosh, the mail?!?! Taylor Swift has a surprised face to the extreme for every occasion. Maybe it’s because guys can imagine doing something with the O she makes with her mouth? Whatever the reason, based solely on her popularity, I can only assume that people love seeing other people be surprised.
    Never stop publicly complaining about your ex boyfriends. 17 songs. That’s how many Taylor has admitted to being about ex-boyfriends. I guess when people say you shouldn’t talk about your ex’s, they’re completely wrong. Talk about them at every chance you get!
    Have someone steal your award; get pity.     Before Kanye took her VMA, she was just your average 18 year old millionaire superstar. After Kanye took her VMA, every guy in the world was talking about how hot she looked at the awards show. So now all you have to do is get nominated for something, win that something, and have someone steal it from you.

    Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you and Ima let you finish, but my confusion about why you get such great men is the biggest confusion of all time. Of ALL time!

     

  • Peters 5:13 pm on May 26, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Does Money Make A Difference In Internet Dating? 

    It’s a question that people have been wondering since online dating first came into play: What’s better, free dating sites, or paid dating sites? Well, that all depends on what you’re looking for.

    Let’s break it down:

     


    If you’re just looking for action:     Free dating sites. People looking for free sex probably aren’t going to be handing over their credit card number to sign up for a dating site.

    If you want to start a committed relationship: Paid dating sites. People that use paid dating sites are usually more serious about finding someone to spend time with, and they’re willing to take the effort to make a real connection with someone. On most paid dating sites, you have to commit to a three-to-12 month account, which promotes people to stay logged in until they find success.

    If you’re looking for friends in your area: Either! If it’s just a friend you’re looking for, then you can find that connection on either medium. People on both free and paid dating sites are always looking to connect regardless of the emotional attachments that do or do not come along with it, so you have extreme leeway in choosing your site for this.

    If you want to find someone with specific personality  traits/ looks: Paid dating sites. When you sign up for a paid dating site, you often have to fill out a lengthy survey asking questions about your life, appearance, and what you’re looking for in someone else. When someone fills this out, it makes it easier to match you with what you’re looking for. Not to say that it’s impossible to find this on free dating sites, but you’ll be doing all the searching yourself and it will take you quite a while longer. If you want something specific, stick to paid dating sites.

     

    Whatever it is you’re looking for, you’ll be able to find it online. When you want to meet local women or men with specific traits, you may have to break out the credit card, but if you’re willing to put the time in, then you’ll have no trouble finding someone in the digital world.

     

  • Peters 4:08 pm on May 25, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last? 

    Gentlemen of the world, we’re plagued with bad news today. UCLA came out with their phycological surveys for 2010, and the studies showed that men who smile less are more likely to have sex.

    A little heart breaking for the last remaining nice guys of the world, but I guess this proves the saying ‘nice guys finish last.’ So what can we do? It doesn’t seem logical to become a dick just because females have terrible taste in men. I wouldn’t want to stop opening doors for my dates, but if it’s what’s hindering me from hooking up with single ladies, then maybe I should put being polite on the back burner for a little while.

    I’ve come up with a few ways to trick women into thinking you’re more of a bad ass than you seem. It may be the attitude that reels them in, but it’ll be the charm that gets them to stay! Here’s what I’m going to start doing to get girls without being too ‘nice’.

    I’m buying motorcycle gear. Do I own a motorcycle? Hell no! My parents were

    emergency room doctors, so I’ve heard countless horror stories about what can happen on them. But if girls want a guy who is risky and a little rugged, then letting them think I own a motor

    cycle will be interesting enough for them to start talking.

    I’m going to start using shitty pick up lines. “Hey baby, I want to take you back to my place and teach you a few things I’ve learned in bed over the years.” I might get a few drinks in the face, but chances are someone is going to wonder what those things are and want to try them out.

    My razor is going in the garbage. A clean shave is for good guys, and I’m a bad ass now! I’m going Conan O’Brien and starting my nice-guy-protest-beard until I get laid.

    My smile is taking a vacation. Since the studies said that people who smile more get action less, then I’m going to give my pearly whites a little shade for the next few months.

    If it’s a bad boy that women want to pick up, then a bad boy I’ll be! A little warning though, this is all assumed and I really have no idea if this is going to work or not. If it does, I’ll invite you all to join on this experiment. If it doesn’t, then I hope the girls I test this out on don’t slap too hard.

     

     

  • Peters 3:12 pm on May 24, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Matt Damon May Have Been On To Something 

    I’ve made my thoughts clear about people going on a singles sex search. I think it’s great. If you’re horny and you don’t have a fuck buddy already on the go, why not?! It’s a win-win for everybody involved. Unless one of you has herpes, then it’s a lose-win, because you still got laid, but now you have herpes.

    I was online looking to meet local women, when I came across a video I hadn’t seen in a while. It was a song that Sarah Silverman wrote for Jimmy Kimmel to let him know that she was sleeping with Matt Damon. Now I understand that the song was a joke since, let’s be honest here, there’s no way Sarah Silverman could bag Jason Bourne, but it started to give me some great ideas! There’s a breakdown in the skit where Damon starts listing all the places they had sex while Silverman was dating Kimmel, and I realized how great of a checklist it is to do with someone new! Trying to get a home run in all the places he did? It would make me feel like I was living out The Bourne Identity, which is clearly every man’s dream.

    So here’s the places he had sex, which are also the places I now want to have sex.

    1. On The Bed. A little mundane, but sex is still sex! And if you’re trying to check this list off with someone you just met, it’s probably the easiest place to start.

    2. On The Floor. Who wants to be restricted to the surface area of a bed? The floor has so much more room to move! If things heat up, you can use the stop, drop, and roll technique as a new sex position.

    3. On a Towel By The Door. There’s nothing worse than the wait between the shower and the bed. It may only be a few feet, but it feels like a lifetime! Skip the walk and do it against the door.

    4. In The Tub. Soapy, clean, wet sex. Is Charlie Sheen around? Because I hear someone #Winning.

    5. In The Car. As much as I love road head, I love pulling over and getting down to the nitty gritty in the back seat even more.

    6. Up Against The Mini-Bar. Admittedly this is probably the most uncomfortable and inconvenient and you’ll probably break that poor little bar, but if you’re at a hotel, I say screw it! It’s not your mini-bar.. break away!
     

  • Peters 8:24 pm on May 17, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Sex: The Ultimate Exam Stress Reliever 

    Believe it or not, but I’m a university graduate. In fact, I graduated from two universities within a 6 year span, earning 3 degrees (*pats self on back*), so trust me, I know what exam stress is like.

    In the dorm I lived in first year, they gave us all a pamphlet on what we could to to bring down our stress levels. Not a word of a lie, it was almost word for work for what the tell you to do when you’re about to have a baby! Eat spicy food to get your mind on something else, go for a long walk to clear your head, take deep breaths to put you in a serene meditative state… They basically listed everything except the one that would actually help… sex!

    Sex is the ultimate sex reliever. And no, that’s not just an excuse to tell the guy you’ve been wanting to sleep with all semester. It really is!

    When you have sex, your body releases endorphins that put you into an elevated blissful state. Physically it triggers nerves that acts as a relief to the muscles that tense in your shoulders where you carry your most stress. Not only that, but the most common physical side effects of stress are head aches and and constipation, both of which can be eliminated with sex. Penetration can act as such a great stimulant on your genitals that it carries those soothing feelings to your head, which will erase your headache, and the constant motion of the thrusting inside your body will loosen what’s backed up, which will let you have an easier go next time you take a trip to the washroom.

    Now if you want to continue to hit the books hard, then I’m not going to be the one who stops you. But a little study break never hurt anyone! In fact, I’m pretty confident I can say it does the exact opposite. If you try and cram too much information in all at once, your mind will do the opposite of what you want it to and dispose of most of the information you stick in there. If you study, study, study, you’re going to fry your brain. So go out and meet singles on campus! If you study, have sex, study, have sex, study, then you’re on the fast track to a big A and an even bigger O!

     

     

  • Peters 7:36 pm on May 16, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    The Way To A Man’s Heart… Is Through His Pants 

    For as long as I can remember, I’ve heard the saying “A way to a man’s heart is food.”

    When did that become the standard?! Was there one asshole one day that, when a nice girl named Jenny tried to give him a blow job, he said, “Well I’d much rather have some pie”? If that’s the case, I hope that guy didn’t get the pie or the blow job.

    When it comes down to singles dating, they’d much rather have a piece of ass than a piece of cake. Sow what’s the proper way to a man’s heart? Well, this might be a good place to begin…

    Inviting someone over for dinner is always stimulating. The mix of endorphins that are released from eating good foods and the sexual energy that is created by knowing you’re only feet from a bedroom is a great way to spend a date. If you’re inviting someone over for dinner, make sure you know what foods go best for them.

    It sounds odd, but certian nationalities get stimulated easier by certian flavors. Obviously Italians by Italian food and the rest of the obvious ones. But because of the light air along the west coast of North America, anything along that stretch can get a hard on easier when they’ve either smelled or eaten pineapple. Do a little research and find out what food is going to put them in the right mood.

    But let’s be serious: He’s not there for dinner, he’s there for sex. So either prepare in advance by using your shittiest plates so you can swipe them off the table in order to fuck on it in a fit of passion, or excuse yourself to get into something a little more comfortable (and I don’t mean sweats. If you thought I did mean sweats, you should probably not have a date. You’re not ready).

    It may be blunt to say, but the way to a man’s heart is through his pants. Sure take a quick glance at a cookbook before he comes over, but take a LONG look at the Kama Sutra to get some hints. Before he gets there, pour some wine, check on the roast, and most importantly, don’t forget to stretch ;)

     

  • Peters 6:53 pm on May 13, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Dress To Get Laid 

    Every woman loves a sharp dressed man, and every man loves a woman that’s well put together. If you’re still in the singles dating world, it’s very important to stay on top of your style. If you’re going out to meet local women or men, you’re not going to get very many double glances in your Texas State hoodie and 5 year old Levis.

    It’s easy to pick up style tips for dates by a simple Google search of the hottest celebrities. Everyone has their own unique style, so pick someone you feel best represents your style and emulate it as best you can.

    Two of the hottest dressing celebrities right now are on the young side: Zac Efron and Kim Kardashian. Both of them are stylish in their own way, but they also both possess the key elements of style that can translate to anyone. Let’s break it down:

    All guys would love to sleep with Kim Kardashian. Not just because of her killer good looks and smokin’ hot bod, but because of how she accentuates her curves in figure-flattering clothes. She knows how to stay up with the trends and puts a little of her personal flare into each outfit. Even in the middle picture she’s dressed extremely casually, but her accessories and the pieces she puts together make her look chic. It’s not only men that notice her style, either. Her body clinging dresses have been the most wanted item in girls closets for the past 2 years thanks to her. They show a little chest, a lot of leg, and don’t leave the fun parts to the imagination.

    No one wants to admit that Zac Efron is good looking. A kid famous for a Disney musical? No thanks. It would hurt our egos too much. But even if you don’t want to admit that he’s good looking, you do have to admit that he has KILLER style. He always looks cool, which is a hard thing to do. If you don’t try enough you look sloppy, but if you try too hard then you don’t look cool. It’s a very thin line. But he uses sophisticated pieces and mixes them with casual looks to create a Don-Draper-Meets-James-Franco look, and it’s HOT. If you look tailored, women will associate that with you having your life organized, which is the ultimate turn on.

    Don’t be a slob. Before dates, spend an extra hour at the mall finding something that will look good on. Because they like the way it looks on, then there’s no doubt they’ll want to take it off.

     

  • Peters 7:45 pm on May 12, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Mariah Carey Is Always The Answer 

    Everyone’s done it. Just gotten out of a tough break up, tried and failed to meet local women, turned on the easy listening radio station and cried it out. There’s nothing better than grabbing your cat, curling up by the fire, and emptying a bottle of wine down the hatch while listening to depressing break up songs.

    So before you get to the sex-with-strangers-that-you-feel-so-dirty-about-sleeping-with-you-have-eight-showers-the-next-day stage, hit up iTunes, download these songs, and cry a river.

    No Woman, No Cry- Bob Marley. With this one, you can even add a little pot to the mix and get more emotional than the wine would have made you. Nothing like a little Jamaican music to heal that broken heart right up.

    White Horse- Taylor Swift. If you broke up because you were cheated on, then you’ll need an extra three days to recover after watching this video. Trust me, it’s sadder than when Kanye stole her MTV award.

    Don’t Speak- No Doubt. Let’s be serious, who hasn’t gotten tanked after a bad break up, called their ex’s voice mail and sang “Don’t tell me cuz it hurts!” at the top of their lungs? No? Just me?

    You Outta Know- Alanis Morisette. This one is for the angry crowd. No one does vengeful chick music better than Canadians do. What makes this song so great (besides her asking if he’s thinking of her when he fucks the new girl), is the fact that this song was written for Uncle Joey from Full House. I can see how that went down: “Joey, you’re cheating on me?! Cut. It. OUT!” *rimshot*…

    And if all else fails, turn to Mariah Carey! She’s a break up song god and has the ability to start the waterworks better than no other. My suggestion is We Belong Together, a touching little number that will tear you to pieces and make you sad for weeks. Plus, since you already know no one will date you, you don’t have to worry about what listening to Mariah will do to your street cred!

    So there you go, friends. Grab your iPod, grab your kleenex, and grab what little is left of your pride, because after crying over cheesy pop music, you’re going to be missing it for a while.

     

  • Peters 3:15 pm on May 11, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Sex And Astronomy 

    “Their love was written in the stars.” What the hell does that mean? I’ve heard it in a million movies, and each time it means less tome than the time before. It was written in the stars? Like, literally? The stars spelled out “And so it shall be”?

    Okay, okay. I know that’s not how it goes. But I did want to figure out what all this nonsense was about, so I turned to my best friend: Google.

    It turns out that for thousands of years, people have been picking compatible dates based on star signs. You know that horoscope you read on your commute to work? Well, you might want to start taking note.

    I was born April 28th, so I’m a Taurus. A lot of the times the things I read in my horoscope about my personality are usually pretty accurate, but they’re also written so generally that I’m sure they would be accurate for anyone. I looked up a astronomy compatibility chart and there’s actually slim pickings for me in terms of a ‘proper match’. According to it, Capricorns are really the only people I can have a true connection with. Which, actually, I agree with. I went through my old girlfriends, and out of the 10 or so serious-ish ones I’ve had, two stand out the most. One I met in college, and one I met through online dating. Then I made note of their birthdays and, sure enough, they’re both Capricorns.

    But that could just be coincidence, right?

    I looked a little further into it, and it’s not just relationships you can be compatible with, it’s everything down to your friends, your co-workers, even your sex partners. Three of my best friends are Pieces, which the chart says I get along best with. The co-workers I’m not sure on their birthdays, but with some of these descriptions, I’m sure it wouldn’t be a hard guess. And that leaves the best for last: the sex partners. The charts said I would either be best with a Virgo or Cancer… And that’s when I became a believer. The best sex I’ve ever had came twice (lucky me!). Once with a girl named Rachel and once with a girl named Bridget. One was a Virgo, and one was a Cancer. I know that all of this could be chalked up to coincidence, but it’s just too much! My ex-girlfiends, my friends, my old hookups? They all fit the bill?

    I had to put this to a test. I signed up for a free dating site and clicked on the first people who had a Capricorn birthday (who I’m supposedly most compatible with), and a Leo (who I’m least). I had about a two hour conversation with both girls, and guess what? The Capricorn was great, the Leo was a dud.

    It could have been mind over matter, but it didn’t feel like I was forcing anything, and they still laid the way the ‘stars’ said they would. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but if people have been doing it for thousands of years, how can it be wrong? Next time you’re out looking for love, check your compatibility chart first!

     

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