Single Meeting Zone

Matt Damon May Have Been On To Something

I’ve made my thoughts clear about people going on a singles sex search. I think it’s great. If you’re horny and you don’t have a fuck buddy already on the go, why not?! It’s a win-win for everybody involved. Unless one of you has herpes, then it’s a lose-win, because you still got laid, but now you have herpes.

I was online looking to meet local women, when I came across a video I hadn’t seen in a while. It was a song that Sarah Silverman wrote for Jimmy Kimmel to let him know that she was sleeping with Matt Damon. Now I understand that the song was a joke since, let’s be honest here, there’s no way Sarah Silverman could bag Jason Bourne, but it started to give me some great ideas! There’s a breakdown in the skit where Damon starts listing all the places they had sex while Silverman was dating Kimmel, and I realized how great of a checklist it is to do with someone new! Trying to get a home run in all the places he did? It would make me feel like I was living out The Bourne Identity, which is clearly every man’s dream.

So here’s the places he had sex, which are also the places I now want to have sex.

1. On The Bed. A little mundane, but sex is still sex! And if you’re trying to check this list off with someone you just met, it’s probably the easiest place to start.
   
   
2. On The Floor. Who wants to be restricted to the surface area of a bed? The floor has so much more room to move! If things heat up, you can use the stop, drop, and roll technique as a new sex position.
   
   
3. On a Towel By The Door. There’s nothing worse than the wait between the shower and the bed. It may only be a few feet, but it feels like a lifetime! Skip the walk and do it against the door.
   
   
4. In The Tub. Soapy, clean, wet sex. Is Charlie Sheen around? Because I hear someone #Winning.
   
   
5. In The Car. As much as I love road head, I love pulling over and getting down to the nitty gritty in the back seat even more.
   
   
6. Up Against The Mini-Bar. Admittedly this is probably the most uncomfortable and inconvenient and you’ll probably break that poor little bar, but if you’re at a hotel, I say screw it! It’s not your mini-bar.. break away!
   

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