Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last?
Gentlemen of the world, we’re plagued with bad news today. UCLA came out with their phycological surveys for 2010, and the studies showed that men who smile less are more likely to have sex.
A little heart breaking for the last remaining nice guys of the world, but I guess this proves the saying ‘nice guys finish last.’ So what can we do? It doesn’t seem logical to become a dick just because females have terrible taste in men. I wouldn’t want to stop opening doors for my dates, but if it’s what’s hindering me from hooking up with single ladies, then maybe I should put being polite on the back burner for a little while.
I’ve come up with a few ways to trick women into thinking you’re more of a bad ass than you seem. It may be the attitude that reels them in, but it’ll be the charm that gets them to stay! Here’s what I’m going to start doing to get girls without being too ‘nice’.
I’m buying motorcycle gear. Do I own a motorcycle? Hell no! My parents were
emergency room doctors, so I’ve heard countless horror stories about what can happen on them. But if girls want a guy who is risky and a little rugged, then letting them think I own a motor
cycle will be interesting enough for them to start talking.
I’m going to start using shitty pick up lines. “Hey baby, I want to take you back to my place and teach you a few things I’ve learned in bed over the years.” I might get a few drinks in the face, but chances are someone is going to wonder what those things are and want to try them out.
My razor is going in the garbage. A clean shave is for good guys, and I’m a bad ass now! I’m going Conan O’Brien and starting my nice-guy-protest-beard until I get laid.
My smile is taking a vacation. Since the studies said that people who smile more get action less, then I’m going to give my pearly whites a little shade for the next few months.
If it’s a bad boy that women want to pick up, then a bad boy I’ll be! A little warning though, this is all assumed and I really have no idea if this is going to work or not. If it does, I’ll invite you all to join on this experiment. If it doesn’t, then I hope the girls I test this out on don’t slap too hard.