The Way To A Man’s Heart… Is Through His Pants
For as long as I can remember, I’ve heard the saying “A way to a man’s heart is food.”
When did that become the standard?! Was there one asshole one day that, when a nice girl named Jenny tried to give him a blow job, he said, “Well I’d much rather have some pie”? If that’s the case, I hope that guy didn’t get the pie or the blow job.
When it comes down to singles dating, they’d much rather have a piece of ass than a piece of cake. Sow what’s the proper way to a man’s heart? Well, this might be a good place to begin…
Inviting someone over for dinner is always stimulating. The mix of endorphins that are released from eating good foods and the sexual energy that is created by knowing you’re only feet from a bedroom is a great way to spend a date. If you’re inviting someone over for dinner, make sure you know what foods go best for them.
It sounds odd, but certian nationalities get stimulated easier by certian flavors. Obviously Italians by Italian food and the rest of the obvious ones. But because of the light air along the west coast of North America, anything along that stretch can get a hard on easier when they’ve either smelled or eaten pineapple. Do a little research and find out what food is going to put them in the right mood.
But let’s be serious: He’s not there for dinner, he’s there for sex. So either prepare in advance by using your shittiest plates so you can swipe them off the table in order to fuck on it in a fit of passion, or excuse yourself to get into something a little more comfortable (and I don’t mean sweats. If you thought I did mean sweats, you should probably not have a date. You’re not ready).
It may be blunt to say, but the way to a man’s heart is through his pants. Sure take a quick glance at a cookbook before he comes over, but take a LONG look at the Kama Sutra to get some hints. Before he gets there, pour some wine, check on the roast, and most importantly, don’t forget to stretch





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