Treat Your Boobs Right, Ladies
October always reminds me of how great boobs are. It’s breast cancer awareness month, which helps, but mostly it’s all of those slutty Halloween costumes that show off the tatas of all those women hoping to meet singles while at their costume parties.
The great thing about boobs are that every woman has them. You should start treating yours well! Here are a few tips on how to keep your boobs happy and healthy:
Use a loofah
Did you know that besides your armpits, your under-boobs have the highest number of sweat glands? That means they get sweaty and gross by day’s end. Clean ‘em up properly by giving them a good scrub!
Ditch the bra!
For women with large breasts and neck problems, you know how much of a pain it is to carry all that extra weight on your chest. But did you know that a lot of the stress your neck and shoulders feel aren’t from your boobs themselves, but from your bra? The pressure the straps put on your shoulders and back are creating the discomfort. Ditch the bra for a day and treat yourself to a silk shirt. Not only will the pressure be relieved, but the silk on your bare boobs will feel great. And if you have someone to bring home, try silk sheets! They’ll feel just as good on your boobs while you’re having sex as your shirt did during the day.
Make them look bigger without a plastic surgeon
If you’re a member of the itty bitty titty committee, chances are you’ve thought about what it would be like to have bigger hooters. There’s an easy trick without having to get surgery! The first is the obvious: a padded bra. But let’s face it, that’s just not enough. Grab the bronzer you have left over from last year’s Jersey Shore Halloween costume and sweep it in a circular motion around your boobs. It will give your breasts the shadows that larger ones have.
If you’ve been ignoring your boobs, pay them a little more attention! The creepy guy across the hall from you has, so join in on the fun!