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  • Peters 7:46 pm on January 4, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Ex-boyfriend, How To Lose A Guy   

    How To Actually Lose A Guy In 10 Days 

    If you haven’t re-watched Kate Hudson’s rom-com How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days a hundred times, then that’s something we don’t have in common, because I have. But it seems that even though I’ve memorized this movie, I still don’t really know how to lose a guy in 10 days. I found out how to annoy the fuck out of one, but I don’t really know if that’s enough for him to be gone.

    Now, I don’t actually have a guy that I want to lose in 10 days. In fact, I’d like to know how to lose a guy in 10 days so I know what not to do in 10 days to get my ass dumped.

    If you’re looking to get out of a relationship, or if you simply want to know what will release you into the single world in a little over a week, we have a day-by-day planner on how to actually lose a guy in 10 days.

    (More …)

     

  • Peters 7:35 pm on September 21, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Are You A Sammi Or A Ronnie? 

    I’m not ashamed to say it– I love watching Jersey Shore. There isn’t a Thursday that you won’t find me in front of my TV watching a group of the classiest, well-read, extremely tone-appropriate skin colors doing things that obviously only the classiest of folk do. Wait… that may be Jeopardy I’m thinking of. Jersey Shore is the one where they get drunk and fight each other, right? I like that one, too. But, like most people, there’s an element of that show that I can’t stand. And those elements’ names? Sammi and Ron.

    While the rest of the world is sitting around wondering why the two of them are together, I’m sitting pretty because I already know the answer. After going on Jersey Shore and showing the world that they’re absolutely bat shit crazy, they’ve realized that not a single soul would date them now, so they’ve decided to cling to each other in a desperate attempt to not be alone for the rest of their lives.

    Personally my favorite part about the hatred towards Sammi and Ron is that most of it comes from couples EXACTLY LIKE SAMMI AND RON. Newsflash, world! If you’re in a relationship where you drink too much and fight all the time and break up every other day and cry all the time, then you aren’t exactly in the position to judge a couple who drinks too much and fights all the time and breaks up every other day and cries all the time. But, since most likely you are in a relationship like that, I have a fun game for you!

    Laaaaadies and gentlemen! It’s time to play Who Are You: Sammi Or Rahn? This is where the theme music would start playing if this was on TV and not the internet.


    First Question!
    Do you have an abnormal amount of rage built up inside you because you’ve been overloading your steroid usage since you were 14? Have you not seen your balls in the last 6 years because they’ve shrunken to the size of your brain? When you’re drunk, do you start taking swings at your guy friends? And when you’re really drunk do you start taking swings at your girlfriend (Don’t worry about it man, she probably deserved it anyways)?
    If this sounds like you, then you’re a RONNIE!!!

    Next Question!
    Does your boyfriend traumatize you by having sex with women who aren’t you in the smush room in the house you both live in together? Does he troll the city visibly high on coke looking to meet local women to make out with in front of all your mutual friends, then get violently mad when said friends tell you about it? Do you enjoy getting in loud screaming matches that always end in you crying, being single, and getting back together all within a night?
    If this one sounds like you, then you my friend are a SAMMI!!

    Wasn’t that fun?! Next time join us to see if you’re an Ike or a Tina!

     

  • Peters 3:35 pm on September 14, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    If You Put Out On Your First Date, It Will Probably Be Your Last 

    I don’t understand why universities do some of the studies they do, but I’m glad they get them done. Thanks to Texas University’s great use of their psychology department, we now have an estimate on how long your relationship is going to last in relation to how fast you have sex with the person you’re dating.

    Although most people think that this study was a total waste of time, I actually think it’s useful information! People have been working the theory for years that the third date is the right time to give out free sex, but what if we’ve been mistaken? What if it’s the 5th date? Or the 17th? Well, thanks to Texas U, we don’t have to guess anymore. Here are the results of their study:

    First time having sex together: First date. Average relationship length: None.

    I guess when your mother tells you should wait to have sex, she has a good point. According to the study, people who sleep together on a first date generally do it not because of the chemistry they have, but because they both know it’s going nowhere and want some action before it’s too late.

    First time having sex together: Three weeks after the first date. Average relationship length: 2-5 years.

    It’s assumed that people who wait between two weeks and a month to have sex for the first time, ideally at three weeks, have a higher chance of staying together because they have a chance to build an emotional relationship before getting physical.

    First time having sex together: Five weeks after the first date. Average relationship length: 5-15 years.

    Couples who are willing to wait five weeks to sleep together get the added benefit of the emotional bond that can form in the first three weeks, but they also get more in sync with one another’s movements, which will make their first time in bed more compatible, making you both more comfortable with each other and strengthening the bond you’re already formed.

    First time having sex together: Two + months after the first date. Average relationship length: 2 Months.

    When couples wait over two months to have sex for the first time, the anticipation usually builds to a point where expectations get too high, and both parties are either so let down by the experience or embarrassed by the way it played out that they go their separate ways shortly after their first encounters.

    There you have it! If you’re about to get down and dirty, do it at the right time for a higher chance of success.

     

  • Peters 6:20 pm on September 9, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    The Curious Case Of The Single Woman And The Married Man 

    If you don’t know a couple who is no more thanks to a single woman seducing the man, then you’re probably 12, because anyone over that age knows a couple like that.

    Alright, that’s a bit specific. Obviously if a man strays for another woman, he’s just as much to blame as she is, but that still doesn’t explain why so many single women are attracted to taken men.

    In a study done by Ontario’s Western University, they had 200 women judge pictures of 20 men, one picture with another women, with with just himself, and almost 80% of those women chose the picture where they were with the woman as the ‘hotter picture’ of him. The surprising part? The pictures were doctored and the woman was digitally erased for the picture where he’s by himself, meaning that the two pictures of the men were the exact same. Out of those 200 women, only 8 noticed that it was the same man.

    Scientists suggest the reason for this is because women get a rush of endorphins that stimulates better sex when they’re sleeping with someone that was a challenge to get. What’s that mean? Basically if they’re getting easy free sex, it’s average. If they’re having sex with someone that didn’t give it up so easily, they naturally have better sex.

    Besides the bedroom action, women like the chase in general. Having their sites set on someone that is supposed to be so unattainable is the ultimate chase. Technically it should be impossible to get a man with a ring on his finger, and if you tell someone he’s impossible, people just want him that much more.

    So, here’s my plea to single women and married men: Knock it  off already! You’re the reason you have a bad rap.

     

  • Peters 3:10 pm on September 7, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    If They Do This, Then They Probably Don’t Like You 

    “He’s just not that into you!” It’s an easy sentence to say, but a really, really hard sentence to hear. Not only does it suck because you’re finding out that someone doesn’t like you, but it’s embarrassing that someone else noticed it before you did! Instead of waiting around to be told that by someone else, notice the signs yourself so you’ll know when it’s time to ditch your date and meet singles again!

    They’re Not Into You If…

    They’re not putting an effort to see you.
    Are you always the one to take that step and make plans? If they never ask you to hang out, or it seems that they’ll only hang out when it’s convenient for them, then you’ve found yourself a loser.

    They have more excuses than enthusiasm
    “Tonight? Uh.. I can’t. My neighbors son’s car has a flat tire and I said I’d help change it, it’ll probably take all night.” Excuses like that are the biggest red-flag for one way relationships.

    You haven’t met any of their friends
    The approval of someones friends is important to them. They want to know if they think you’re a good match, if they see a future for you two, and most importantly, if the friends get along well with you. If they haven’t bothered to introduce you to them, then you’re probably nothing more than a sex buddy to them!

    They check out other people when you’re with them
    A glance could be innocent, but it could also be them saying “And when I’m done with you, I’ll be on them.” (Here’s a hint: It’s probably the second option.)

    If they’re doing any of these things, figure it out for yourself before someone has to tell you! They’re just not that into you!

     

  • Peters 5:34 pm on August 31, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    You Really Need To Lower Your Deal Breaker Standards 

    Last night I was out with my buddy Ron and we started to talk about the girl he’s been seeing. She’s a cute little blonde, really pretty in the face and body, as a wicked personality, and works as a nurse. If he hadn’t already tapped it, I would have tried for her myself. But while we were talking about how it was going between the two of them, he said it was over. The next bit of our conversation went like this:

    “What do you mean it’s over?”
    “It’s just over. I ended it.”
    “Why?”
    “She listened to Adele. Like all the time. I couldn’t stand it anymore. Does she not have any other CDs?”

    This asshole was being serious!  He was willing to give up sex with one of the most near-perfect women I’ve ever met because she listens to a music artist too much? What kind of lame excuse is that?

    If you’re one of these people that are willing to break up with someone on a dime because of something as petty as their choice in music, then you need to smarten up. When you ween potential dates out of your life because of small details, you’re going to wind up with someone who is free of the small annoyances, but is filled with real problems.

    Let’s take a look at what is and isn’t acceptable, shall we?

    Acceptable:

    • Their work schedules are the exact opposite of yours, making it impossible to ever see them
    • They’re emotionally damaging to you
    • They’ve just killed someone

    Totally not acceptable:

    • You don’t like that they wear Ed Hardy (Alright, this one is debatable.)
    • You’re offended they haven’t read Twilight
    • They smoke. That is what quitting is for!

    Cutting people off for reasons that really don’t matter will leave you lonely and and attempting to meet local women for the rest of your life.

     

  • Peters 8:16 pm on August 24, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Baseball Break-Ups 

    When a new relationship starts, you always get asked the baseball question by your friends. “Have you guys gone to first base yet?”, “When do you think you’ll get a home run?”, “How big is his bat?” The older you get the more you expect the questions like that to fade away, but they keep coming.

    It’s easy to describe what’s happening in the early stages of your relationship, because all you have to do is name a base and people understand. But when we’re in the middle of a break up, we have to give the nitty gritty details because there’s no baseball analogy to compare it to.

    Well my friends, I’m here to save you some trouble and set up the ground rules for break up baseball. Here we go…

    First Base: The Talk

    Every breakup starts with ‘the talk.’ That awkward conversation where you try to gently let them know that you simply don’t want to be with them anymore. Whether it’s through subtle hints or blunt explanations, the talk is never an easy thing to have, but it’s a necessary step to start the break up. You have to get there before you can go anywhere else with the breakup so, naturally, this is first base.

    Second Base: Second Guessing

    No one likes getting to second base, but it’s a natural part of the break up. If you’ve ever watched How I Met Your Mother, you may be familiar with Graduation Goggles. It’s what happens to someone when they go through four years of hating high school, but suddenly wish it wasn’t over when graduation time comes. Even if they didn’t like high school, they start to, for whatever reason, remember it only for the good times when it comes to a close. This happens in all relationships. No matter how bad they were, you start to remember all the good times you had together and begin second guessing the relationship. If your friends are asking how you’re doing in the break up and you let them know you’re sitting at second base, that’s their cue to remind you of all the reasons you’re breaking up with that asshole in the first place.

    Third Base: Cutting The Ties

    Third base is hardest to get to, because most people don’t realize how necessary it is. If you want the break up to stick, cutting ties is a necessary step. Some people have a fairy tale notion that they can stay friends after they break up, but that’s a pipe dream. In order to get over the relationship, you need your distance. Being friends in the future may be a possibility, but only after the hatchet has been buried, and that takes time. Going from second guessing to cutting the ties is the hardest part about breakup baseball, but you’ll never be able to start your new singles sex search if you don’t.

    The Home Run: Dating Someone Else

    The home run is what every breakup-ee craves while playing the game. They dread running the bases, but having that beautiful, shining home plate is what makes it all worth it. Having sex with someone else for the first time is biggest signal that you’re finally finished with the breakup game. Wash off that break up smell because when you get the home run in breakup baseball, you get to start playing relationship baseball again!

     

  • Perish-Peters 5:56 pm on August 18, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Did Carrie And Big Ruin The Fairy Tale Ending? 

    Since the dawning of time, little girls have looked forward to the fairy tale ending. They’ve wanted to meet their prince charming, have the royal wedding, pop out a few kids and live happily ever after. But since HBO brought us the cursed gift in the form of Sex And The City, we’ve been striving for something a little different.

    Carrie Bradshaw, the girls girl who we can all relate to, has changed the story we expect. Instead of finding the prince and having our happily ever after, we expect to find our prince, realize he’s not so charming, fight, break up, cheat, wait for him to marry and divorce someone else, try to get married, get left at the alter, try to get married again, and eventually make it down the isle in a two-person no-guest wedding at a courthouse.

    Okay, so maybe what we expect isn’t exactly like that, but it’s not too far off, either. When we see people like Carrie struggling to get her love and sex lives together, it’s easy to lower the bar on expectations for ourselves. It’s the Mother Smoking syndrome all over again. When you see your mom smoking when you’re little, you imitate her thinking nothing of it. If mom can do it, whey can’t you, right? We look up to Carrie like we did our mothers when we were little, only now instead of pretending to smoke, we’re falling into bad relationships because they just happened to work out with her.

    Next time you want to meet singles, don’t settle for anything less than prince charming! Just because Carrie settled with Big doesn’t mean you have to walk the same path. She may have changed the typical ending we expect, but if you raise your bar, you’ll end up happier than Ms. Bradshaw herself.

     

  • Peters 6:14 pm on August 5, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    The Bad Kiss Break-Up 

    I’ve had a lot of bad kisses in my day. Too much tongue, too much saliva, teeth clanking, lips being bitten, blood drawn… You name it, I’ve probably had that kiss. Now, usually when you have a bad kiss, you have to assume it has a lot to do with your chemistry. If you really meshed well, your mouths would know what to do with each others. I’ve never broken up with someone because of a bad kiss, but I have realized that my relationships with said bad kissers hadn’t worked out for various other reasons. I brought this up with a friend and I was surprised to find out that bad kissers make up the majority of girls he’s broken up with.

    I thought bad kissing was a terrible reason to dump someone, but the more opinions I got on the matter, the more it seemed like the logical thing to do.

    When you’re dating someone, you’re dating them for their personality and your compatibility of lifestyle and various other factors that are less superficial than a kiss, but your physical connection is a major asset to your relationship. If the chemistry is off, what chance do you have for the sex to be good? Even if you can manage to sync your lower halves for the act, you’ll still be kissing while you do it, which brings you back to square one.

    Cosmopolitan Magazine Australia did a survey of women to see who would date a bad kisser, and an astonishing FOUR% said that they would stick with one! That’s a surprisingly low number.

    General consensus is that bad-kissers are in for rejection, so do yourself a favor and get your practice in! Study up, limber up, and pucker up, because if you’re a bad kisser, you’re going to be in the singles dating game for a long time!

     

  • Peters 6:28 pm on August 2, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    Don’t Let Him Get Bored 

    The biggest problem young relationships face is trying to do too much too fast in the relationship and burning it out. If you get bored with each other in the first few weeks, it makes it nearly impossible to sustain a lasting relationship. Losing the flame before it has a chance to really make some heat is a waste of time, so protect what could be something good by not letting him get bored.

    Do ‘Guy Things’ With Him

    Guys don’t want to go to the mall twice in one week. They don’t even want to go to the mall twice in a year. When you’re trying to think of things for the two of you to do together, think outside the feminine box. Sure you may want to go to Macy’s to see the sales they have on Jimmy Choos, but do you really think that’s how he wants to spend his Saturday? Again? When he asks you what you want to do, suggest something fun that he’ll enjoy doing. A round of paintball, going rock climbing, hitting the driving range… Basically anything that a guy would want to do in his past time. If he can see you as a buddy that he can enjoy doing fun things with, he won’t easily give you up. Guys love girls who can chill with their friends, and taking him out to do something he’ll love is a big sign that you’ll fit in with his buddies.

    Give Him His Space

    No guy wants to wake up to three missed calls, 4 text messages, 7 BBMs, and a dozen e-mails from the girl he just saw the night before. Calling just to say hi may be one of the biggest pet peeves for men. If you’re going to call him, do it at an appropriate time (ie– not in the middle of the night, and not during office hours), and have something to say! If you have tickets to the big game and you want him to come with you, then that’s an acceptable call. If you have tickets to the big game and you want him to look for you on TV, that’s a waste of his time. Unless you have a reason to  talk to him, then give him his space!

    Don’t Put Out

    I know withholding sex doesn’t sound like the best plan to keep a guy interested in you, but believe it or not, guys admit that they like the chase of sex better than the satisfaction of actually getting it. Guys never get bored when they have something to strive for, and when that something is a person, it’s very likely that even when they conquer their prize, they still want to hold onto the trophy.

    Take Cues From Him To Know What He Wants

    Guys aren’t as subtle as women are when it comes to getting what they want. It’s usually extremely easy to read a guys face to know what they want. If he looks like he likes something, he probably does! Whether it’s what you’re doing, what you’re talking about, or if he wants to get out of a date, it’s extremely easy to see what a guy wants. Take the cues from him to keep him happy.

    Don’t Push Him

    The biggest mistake women do in the early stages of relationships is push their date into something they’re not ready for. You see it in singles dating all the time: One party is looking for a serious relationship and the other is looking to simply fool around. Now, for whatever reason, a lot of women think it’s a good idea to push guys into a serious relationship when they’re not ready. All this does is make them even less inclined to get into a relationship! If you think you can change your mind on your relationship status, do it with actions, not with words. Nagging him into a relationship won’t end well for you.

    There you have it! The five ways to make sure your new man doesn’t get bored within the first few weeks of the relationship. If you’re doing any of these things now, you have two options: Either stop doing them, or say goodbye to your future with him!

     

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