Being a grown up man or woman is what most of us dream about as little kids. It all seems so glamorous and full of freedom. And while there are certainly many drawbacks and irritants that come with finally reaching adulthood, it is actually pretty damn close to what kids dreamt about for so many years. First and foremost, being a grown up means being able to have sex. Ideally, a lot of it. Having sex is that one magical thing that hangs over childhood like something from another world. It is so tantalizing, so secretive, so unlike anything we can imagine as kids. Once we are able to have it, many of us push its limits and want to explore everything that we could not quite grasp growing up. XXX dates become the objective of every impatient dinner and movie, but sometimes we are surprised when we least expect it.
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For people looking to date, friends trying to determine if there is sexual interest from their friends, or any of us thinking we might have a chance at some Xxx action, we have to all determine a level of interest from the other party. It’s not enough to get a side-long glance or a tweet, these days we are reaching out and communicating so often it’s not a surprise to get a hello from even the most remote of acquaintances. We need to look for a little more if we want to have that progression happen where we make a friend a date, make that date a steady romance, and make that romance into a Xxx sex partner.
We love that pictures say a thousand words… It saves us from having to say them ourselves!
Click the jump to see the list.
When it comes to women taking sex tips, they’re almost more likely to listen to the ‘experts’ at Cosmo Magazine than they are to listen to their own friends. The only problem with that is Cosmo seems to have gone and lost their minds because their tips are less ‘sexy’ these days and more ‘bat shit crazy.’
If you’re going hit up Cosmo during your singles sex search for ideas on how to spice up your love life, I’d advise against these.
#10. Treat Him Like An Atari Controller
You know when you’re giving your first hand job and you seem to be jerking it in all different directions? And how unsatisfied the look on your then-boyfriends face looked, despite the fact that he had been waiting 18 years just for someone to touch him there at all? Yah, it was that bad. But for whatever reason, Cosmo is suggesting that you do that again. They’re telling you to ‘treat his dick like an Atari joystick and move it all around.’ Please. Don’t do that.
#9. Pull His Pubes
I can’t believe that they’d suggest this: Cosmo is saying that guys love it when girls take their pubes between their teeth and pull. Not only is it a bad sensation, but the visual is enough to trigger our gag reflexes. There’s no need for two people to be gagging during oral sex.
#8. Jerk Him Off With Grapes
Cosmo wants you to hold grapes between your fingers while you’re giving a guy a hand job. First, how are you supposed to get a grip firm enough to be pleasurable without breaking the grapes? And second of all, who the hell would want to do that?!
#7. Shake His Nuts
“Take his testicles in the palm of your hand and shake them like you’re shaking dice.” No. No. Just no. Do not do this. That will feel like we’re on a bad train ride, not getting laid.
#6. Toss His Salad
If you don’t know what tossing the salad is, then you’re not missing out! Think about what you do when you go down on a female, except do it to the back door instead of the front. If he’s straight, he probably doesn’t want you poking around back there. Not to mention guys don’t have that many nerves around the opening of their rectum, so giving it a lick probably won’t do much for him anyways.
#5. Bite His Balls
Cosmo’s suggestion of taking the skin of his testicles and pinching them with your teeth is a boner killer, not a boner trigger.
#4. Do The Twist
“Make two fists around his dick and twist your hands in opposite directions as fast as you can.” Then immediately call 911, because that will hurt.
#3. Rub Ice On His Penis During Oral Sex
Have you ever seen that episode of Seinfeld when George gets caught without his pants on and it causes a woman to laugh? And he blames it on the fact that it was cold? I doubt it was ICE cold, so imagine what it would be like if you did freeze his member. Damn.
#2. Find His G-Spot
Do you know where a male G-Spot is? In his back door. Which is coincidently the #1 place straight men don’t want you to go. If you have a sexually adventurous boy toy, then you’re in luck, and you can go for it. But if you’re sleeping with a majority of men in America, you’re not going to want to sneak anything in there.
#1. Put A Donut Around His Dick And Slowly Eat It Before You Give Him A Blow Job
Which part about this is hot? The visual of a donut on a dick? You eating the dick? Getting a dry blow job because you used all your saliva eating dry pastries? The extra yeast you’re ingesting? Besides Fat Bastard, no man will want you to do this to him. Please advise.
So there you have it! If you’re thinking about being adventurous and doing something outside the box, trust me, you don’t want to try these.
An overwhelming amount of both men and women in North America think that it’s harder for them to meet singles when they’re overweight. Well guys and gals, sorry to burst your bubble, but you can’t hide behind that excuse anymore. In 2010, eight times as many people that got married were overweight. It’s the way of the world now in America! People are generally heavier, so you can’t use that as your excuse as to why you’re not getting any action.
What you can blame on your weight however is your shitty sex life!
People who are overweight have a harder time reaching orgasm. How much harder? Almost 45%!
What does this attribute to? Most of it has to do with physical abilities. Overweight people have a harder time in the sack because they get tired easier. They can’t contour their bodies in positions necessary to achieve a good orgasm, and in cases where there’s a little too much cushion for the pushin, you simply can’t get deep enough.
I’m not saying you should go out and drop 90 pounds. Everyone has a healthy weight for their height, and as long as you’re in that range, you’re able to lead a healthy and full life. But if you want to increase your chances at a better sex life, you should consider shedding some of your excess weight!
Don’t roll your eyes at us, we’re human! We have needs. And we want those needs met in the easiest way possible. Which is why we’ve done a little research and found out which people are the most likely to be down with giving oral sex! If you’re trying to meet singles, try meeting these ones:
#5- People who have just started a new job
When someone starts a new job, they’re optimistic about what the future holds and are excited about learning, and trying, new things. If they don’t usually give BJs on the average date, chances are they’re going to be a lot more open to it this time around!
#4- People who like holidays
This one sounds silly, but studies from the University Of California in Berkeley show that people who enjoy the holiday season like it because they are naturally more giving people. It makes sense, but what you probably don’t know is that those people with the giving spirit don’t just let it loose during Christmas– They also let it loose in bed!
#3- Talkative people
Talkative people have certain oral abilities that make them comfortable with using their mouths for a variety of things from giving speeches to giving head.
The same study done at Berkeley that revealed that holiday lovers are more giving in bed also claim that vegetarians are three times more likely to give oral sex than meat eaters.
#1- Social People
No shocker here! Social people are popular because they know how to keep people happy and give them what they want. I guess there’s no limit to their generosity!
Every time the hot guy gets the hot girl in moves, the sex scenes are always off the charts. According to Hollywood, Hot+Hot= Great chemistry in bed.Well daters, here’s a newsflash: Some things you see in movies aren’t real. We’ll wait a minute while you let that soak in. You all good? Yah? Okay, Let’s move on. Sure pretty people might be the best to watch have sex, but they’re in no way the best in bed. If you’re in the dating world only to get laid, then you need to start setting your aim towards specific people!
Despite what you see at the movie theater, attractive people are actually among the most boring in bed. They’re not only the least likely to try new things, but they’re often the most inactive during sex. The basis of this theory most people chalk up to: “They’re pretty, they don’t have to try,” which might be true, but it’s obviously not proven. Regardless, attractive people are at the bottom of the sex totem pole.
People who socially drink most weekends
You know the type. The kind of people who you’ll find every weekend at the bar with their buddies. The guys who are always down for a few beers and the girls who plan their nights around martinis. Not only are these the ones you can turn to for a good time at the bar, they’re also the ones you can turn to for a good time in the bedroom! Social drinkers, even when stone cold sober, are more likely to be adventurous and try new things in bed. New positions? Sure. New toys? Why not. New holes? Er.. That one you’ll probably have to check first.
In news you probably could have guessed yourself: Athletic people can last longest in bed, because they have the best stamina.
This tip is for all the single women out there: Men who are on the quite side and are modest in their daily lives are on average more well hung than outspoken, cocky guys.
People who are into nature (ie– ‘green’ people) are not only the most likely to be well groomed in the southern regions, but they’re also the least likely to have STD’s and STI’s.
So there you have it! When you launch your dating site search, don’t just target guys that look like they could fill Leo Dicaprio’s shoes!
The biggest mistake singles dating make when they’re trying to set up a romantic date is that they tend to go overboard. We understand that your girlfriend loves The Notebook and you want to make her feel like she’s in the movie, but she doesn’t actually want to be in that movie!
Let me explain…
A friend of mine from college was dating a girl who absolutely loved that movie. I’m not exaggerating when I say she watched it almost every weekend. So for Valentines Day, he thought it would be a rad idea if he gave her a Notebook day, which, in theory, was a great idea. But he did it the wrong way. He actually bought outfits that were like the ones in the movie and laid in the middle of a street waiting for a light to change. This girl has seen this movie over and over– what you’re doing is old news to her!
What he should have done was show her a date that had a Notebook feel. Instead of taking her in a boat surrounded by swans, simply take her in a canoe and play her favorite love songs while rowing. That way she’ll subconsciously associate the romance of your date with the movie, and feel excited on a whole different level.
Just like when you have the candle-lit sex fantasy. Girls love things like that, but guys tend to fuck it up. Why did you think you needed 82 candles and rose pedals everywhere?! A trio of candles is more than enough to set the mood.
You’re not setting a theme, you’re setting a feeling. Don’t go overboard with it!
romantic feel, not romantic theme
October always reminds me of how great boobs are. It’s breast cancer awareness month, which helps, but mostly it’s all of those slutty Halloween costumes that show off the tatas of all those women hoping to meet singles while at their costume parties.
The great thing about boobs are that every woman has them. You should start treating yours well! Here are a few tips on how to keep your boobs happy and healthy:
Use a loofah
Did you know that besides your armpits, your under-boobs have the highest number of sweat glands? That means they get sweaty and gross by day’s end. Clean ‘em up properly by giving them a good scrub!
Ditch the bra!
For women with large breasts and neck problems, you know how much of a pain it is to carry all that extra weight on your chest. But did you know that a lot of the stress your neck and shoulders feel aren’t from your boobs themselves, but from your bra? The pressure the straps put on your shoulders and back are creating the discomfort. Ditch the bra for a day and treat yourself to a silk shirt. Not only will the pressure be relieved, but the silk on your bare boobs will feel great. And if you have someone to bring home, try silk sheets! They’ll feel just as good on your boobs while you’re having sex as your shirt did during the day.
Make them look bigger without a plastic surgeon
If you’re a member of the itty bitty titty committee, chances are you’ve thought about what it would be like to have bigger hooters. There’s an easy trick without having to get surgery! The first is the obvious: a padded bra. But let’s face it, that’s just not enough. Grab the bronzer you have left over from last year’s Jersey Shore Halloween costume and sweep it in a circular motion around your boobs. It will give your breasts the shadows that larger ones have.
If you’ve been ignoring your boobs, pay them a little more attention! The creepy guy across the hall from you has, so join in on the fun!