We love that pictures say a thousand words… It saves us from having to say them ourselves!
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We love that pictures say a thousand words… It saves us from having to say them ourselves!
Click the jump to see the list.
The biggest mistake singles dating make when they’re trying to set up a romantic date is that they tend to go overboard. We understand that your girlfriend loves The Notebook and you want to make her feel like she’s in the movie, but she doesn’t actually want to be in that movie!
Let me explain…
A friend of mine from college was dating a girl who absolutely loved that movie. I’m not exaggerating when I say she watched it almost every weekend. So for Valentines Day, he thought it would be a rad idea if he gave her a Notebook day, which, in theory, was a great idea. But he did it the wrong way. He actually bought outfits that were like the ones in the movie and laid in the middle of a street waiting for a light to change. This girl has seen this movie over and over– what you’re doing is old news to her!
What he should have done was show her a date that had a Notebook feel. Instead of taking her in a boat surrounded by swans, simply take her in a canoe and play her favorite love songs while rowing. That way she’ll subconsciously associate the romance of your date with the movie, and feel excited on a whole different level.
Just like when you have the candle-lit sex fantasy. Girls love things like that, but guys tend to fuck it up. Why did you think you needed 82 candles and rose pedals everywhere?! A trio of candles is more than enough to set the mood.
You’re not setting a theme, you’re setting a feeling. Don’t go overboard with it!
romantic feel, not romantic theme
Sometimes the things we know we shouldn’t do are the only ones we really want. Chocolate will go straight to your hips but you eat it anyways, hairdryers kill your hair but you use them regardless, and talking on the phone while driving is now illegal but sometimes you just have to make that call! One of the biggest things we shouldn’t do comes to singles dating in the office, but as soon as they tell you not to date the boss, that’s the #1 person on your ‘To-Date’ list. When it comes to dating people in your office, what could really go wrong? The answer is probably more than you’d like.
If you have a crush on one of your authority figures in your office, chances are other people do, to. You may benefit from getting some special attention from your boss if you’re the one dating him, but that may be balanced out with getting treated a little worse than usual from the others in the office. Not only might there be jealousy because you’re dating the big man on campus, but there could be a little hostility because you have a hand-up on getting on his good side. If you’re going to start dating a boss, make sure your co-workers are cool with it! If they’re not, then leave your relationship out of the office. What they don’t know won’t hurt them, and better yet, won’t get you hurt.
If all’s a go for your office relationship, keep in mind that there are still going to be limits on it! It’s appropriate for your boyfriend to give you a kiss goodbye if he walks you to work one day, but that’s not exactly the case if your boyfriend is also your boss. Keep the PDA away from your workplace so you don’t make things awkward for those around you. And while we’re on the subject of physical interaction, there’s that little issue of sex. We’ve all seen a movie where the boss romantically sweeps everything off his desk and they go at it like there’s no one around. Even if his office is a windowless soundproof room, there should be no sex in the office! Ever!
So let’s review, shall we? Make sure co-workers are cool, don’t overload the PDA, and leave sex in the office to movies. Any extra questions, class?
Everyone suggests the same first date. Go to the movies, go out to dinner, go to the coffee house…When you’re getting all the same suggestions, you’re likely to end up with the same results. And if you’re getting the same results, chances are you still haven’t found someone worth your time yet. The key to a good first date is to actually have the set up for a good first date. If you’re doing the same old thing, you’re likely to have the same old conversation and the same old boring time together.
Change it up! If you want to have a good date, you need have a good setting!
Go Tree Planting
Organizations are always looking for people to volunteer to plant trees. Most places allow you to donate your time as you see fit. Want to plant 10 trees? Great! Only what to plant 1? That’s fine, as long as you’re helping. Planting a tree will stimulate more interesting conversation than a night at the movies would, and you’ll have something tangible to show when the date is done. It’s also quite symbolic– You’re planting a small tree and hoping that it will be nurtured enough to grow to it’s full potential, much like your new relationship.
Take a trip to the zoo
Besides the fact that everyone loves seeing baby animals, the zoo is a great place for easy conversations. You get to see where each animal is from, which allows you to discuss travel stories from that area, or travel plans for the future. Not only that, but you’re in an environment where primal sex is accepted as a natural act, which will make you both more relaxed for thinking about getting down and dirty later!
Go to a bookstore
This one sounds like it could be as dull as going to a coffee shop, but trust me, there is more fun to be had in a bookstore than you’d think. Before you enter the store, go in with a plan. Pick a book rack, shelf, and book number before you go in. IE– The third book rack on your right, the second shelf, and fifth book on that shelf. Whatever that book is, the two of you have to tell a story related to the subject. Is it a book on vampires? Tell the story about how your ex-girlfriend was obsessed with Robert Pattinson. Is it about golf? Share that time when you got kicked off of a golf course for sneaking onto the greens after hours.
Singles dating can have a great time on a first date, you just have to know where to go!
It seems like as soon as any of your friends are in a new relationship, all their time is spent with other people who are in new relationships. Couples gravitate towards other couples in the same stages because they can relate to what each other is going through. It’s the same reasoning behind why you want to call your single friends after a break up, they’ll be interested in the same things you are. Going out, having a good time, not calling their boyfriends to check up on them, and hitting on every good looking man in sight. When you enter the singles dating world, you want to do it with other singles!
So when your friends in new couples hang out with other new couples, it’s understandable. And when they get engaged and want to hang out with other engaged couples, you get it. And when they get married and want to hang out with other married couples, it crosses a line.
Seeing married couples flock towards other married couples makes it feel like grade school again, and you’re the one that wasn’t picked for the team. They’re the same people, you’re the same person, but for some reason, you don’t quite make the cut anymore.
I don’t know if it’s because they’re jealous that you can still go out and have sex, or if you’re jealous they have someone to watch movies with on a Saturday night, but somewhere between their wedding day and their third married-couples-only-charade-party this week that you weren’t invited to, a silent war starts to build. Eventually do you not only not care that you weren’t invited, but you’re glad you weren’t.
If you’re stuck in the middle of the war yourself, be the first person to raise the white flag! There’s no need to fight a war with people who should be friends. In the war between marrieds and singles, ending the battle is up to you.
When singles dating are looking for someone to get into a relationship with, the dream scenario for most people would be to snag a celebrity. With the riches, the glam and the glory, why wouldn’t people want to involved in that lifestyle? Not to mention we see these people on a constant basis in full hair and make-up, reciting lines that sound so perfect they could be Hallmark cards, so that might add just a little to the attraction we have to them. But when they come home at the end of the day, you’re more likely to have more relationship problems with a celeb than you would your average Joe.
They work long hours
If they’re famous, they’re going to be away a lot. Between movie shoots, recording studios, concert tours, promotional tours, interviews, mandatory appearances, award shows, and everything else celebrities are obligated to do, you don’t get a lot of face time with them. The two things couples fight about most are money and careers, so even though you won’t have to worry about monetary issues, you’ll have a big stress in the relationship because of their career. Between the long hours and knowing that their career always comes first, it’s a hard pill to swallow.
There’s a higher chance of infidelity
Almost 80% of guys that cheat on their partners claim the reason they did it was because they had the opportunity. Unfortunately we live in a time when a lot of people are looking to sleep with celebrities simply because they have fame. If they have people constantly offering themselves on a silver platter, chances are at some point, they’re going to slip up. When sex comes easily to someone, they tend to look at it with less significance than it carries, which will make it more likely that they’ll slip up and sleep with someone else.
Even if they’re not being unfaithful, people will always be telling you they are
It’s been six years since Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt broke up. Since then, he’s found a life partner in Angelina Jolie and they’ve had a hundred kids together. She hasn’t done so bad herself, having long-term relationships with other stars like John Mayer and Vince Vaughn. But does this stop magazines from publishing weekly covers about how Brad and Jen have been seen together, are sleeping together, are getting back together, are leaving their spouses for each other, blah blah blah. If you were Angelina, no matter how self confident you are, it’s going to take it’s tole on you always having to hear that your boyfriend is cheating on you.
There’s much more than usual to be jealous about
Celebrities are always expected to be ‘on’. Even when they’re not on set, people still want to see them act like gods and goddesses among others, so they have to keep the smile on their face at all times. You’ll have to deal with your boyfriend flashing his smile at every girl that walks past, stop your conversation to take pictures with anybody that asks, and see him making out with his gorgeous co-star in their new movie. What girl wouldn’t be jealous of that? Not to mention you’ll have the whole world playing matchmaker with your boyfriend, saying that he would make a great couple with Emma Stone, or that he would make a much cuter couple with Natalie Portman. No matter how secure you usually re in relationships, it’s a different situation with celebrities.
If you’re day dreaming about hooking up with George Clooney, keep dreaming, because it’s a better option than actually dating him!
No girl sees a dick and naturally thinks ‘I’d really like to put that in my mouth one day!’ They aren’t born with blow job skills, and since they don’t have penises themselves, they can’t really tell if what they’re doing is effective or not. Well ladies, grab a pen and sit down, because blow job class is in session.
When most girls think oral, they think with just their mouths. The truth is what you do with your hands is just as important as what you do with your mouth. Do as you would if you were giving a hand job, but keep the stroking soft and only to the middle of the shaft, so you don’t interrupt your mouth work.
It’s not a race! You’re not trying to see how fast you can jerk it around. No matter what you’ve seen in sex videos before, going fast is never going to please him! The slower you work his shaft, the better it’s going to feel for him.
Don’t forget they’re there! Not paying any attention to the balls is an opportunity waisted. Gently roll them in your hand as if they were stress balls and never squeeze your hand! And as always, the more lube, the better.
Don’t just put it in your mouth and pull it back out, you actually have to put some work into it. As you’re pulling him into your mouth, gently suck as you do it. It’s an easy motion to do, but it will make a world of difference.
Yes it’s called a ‘blow’ job, but if you’re new to the game, make sure you know that there’s no actual blowing involved in the act itself. But if you want to give your mouth a quick break, pull him out and gently blow hot breath on the head of his penis. The change in temperature will be a great sensation to him, and since not a lot of girls do it, it will be a new experience.
When you have him in your mouth, don’t only use your mouth, use your tongue! Gently swirling it around this shaft while he’s in your mouth and doing the same to his head when you pull him out will be a very welcomed edition to the act.
Singles dating can be intimidating, but if you know what you’re doing going down, you’ll be a lot more comfortable taking your oral test.
Whenever faced with a dating problem, I often hear women say “What would Carrie Bradshaw do?”. It’s great to have a solid source of where you get your dating advice from, but getting it from a fictional character may not be your best idea. Sex and the City was advertised as a show about a relationship guru going through her life in New York City. Half of that is true. It is a story about a girl going through her life in New York City, but relationship guru? From a guys perspective, she’s not exactly the perfect person to be taking singles dating advice from.
Girls get attached to the Carrie character because she’s easy to relate to, which makes it hard for people to see her flaws. When a guy watches the show, he can watch it for exactly what it is– not a girl conquering the dating world, but someone who is just as confused as the rest of you in her relationships. The episodes never center around her love triumphs, they all revolve around her troubles and how she scrambles about trying to put the pieces back together. The love advice that she dishes out in quirky voice overs at the end of the show are never things we get to see her put to practice, they’re all things she’s learned by doing the exact opposite and realizing it didn’t work.
I find it kind of funny that in a show where the main character is crying over men in every episode and is only ever happy because of her friends, not because of love, is the go-to show for women who want a romantic getaway on the small screen. Wouldn’t it make you more sad than happy to see this heroine failing so miserably at the one thing she’s supposed to be an expert on? Correct me if I’m wrong, but someone who is the end-all-be-all of dating specialists should know better than to have sex with her emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend while in a relationship with the only guy who actually seems like a good fit for her. Sound a little like self sabotage, not relationship expertise.
If you’re looking for a love her, maybe Carrie Bradshaw isn’t the person you should be looking to.
I’ve had a lot of bad kisses in my day. Too much tongue, too much saliva, teeth clanking, lips being bitten, blood drawn… You name it, I’ve probably had that kiss. Now, usually when you have a bad kiss, you have to assume it has a lot to do with your chemistry. If you really meshed well, your mouths would know what to do with each others. I’ve never broken up with someone because of a bad kiss, but I have realized that my relationships with said bad kissers hadn’t worked out for various other reasons. I brought this up with a friend and I was surprised to find out that bad kissers make up the majority of girls he’s broken up with.
I thought bad kissing was a terrible reason to dump someone, but the more opinions I got on the matter, the more it seemed like the logical thing to do.
When you’re dating someone, you’re dating them for their personality and your compatibility of lifestyle and various other factors that are less superficial than a kiss, but your physical connection is a major asset to your relationship. If the chemistry is off, what chance do you have for the sex to be good? Even if you can manage to sync your lower halves for the act, you’ll still be kissing while you do it, which brings you back to square one.
Cosmopolitan Magazine Australia did a survey of women to see who would date a bad kisser, and an astonishing FOUR% said that they would stick with one! That’s a surprisingly low number.
General consensus is that bad-kissers are in for rejection, so do yourself a favor and get your practice in! Study up, limber up, and pucker up, because if you’re a bad kisser, you’re going to be in the singles dating game for a long time!
The biggest problem young relationships face is trying to do too much too fast in the relationship and burning it out. If you get bored with each other in the first few weeks, it makes it nearly impossible to sustain a lasting relationship. Losing the flame before it has a chance to really make some heat is a waste of time, so protect what could be something good by not letting him get bored.
Do ‘Guy Things’ With Him
Guys don’t want to go to the mall twice in one week. They don’t even want to go to the mall twice in a year. When you’re trying to think of things for the two of you to do together, think outside the feminine box. Sure you may want to go to Macy’s to see the sales they have on Jimmy Choos, but do you really think that’s how he wants to spend his Saturday? Again? When he asks you what you want to do, suggest something fun that he’ll enjoy doing. A round of paintball, going rock climbing, hitting the driving range… Basically anything that a guy would want to do in his past time. If he can see you as a buddy that he can enjoy doing fun things with, he won’t easily give you up. Guys love girls who can chill with their friends, and taking him out to do something he’ll love is a big sign that you’ll fit in with his buddies.
Give Him His Space
No guy wants to wake up to three missed calls, 4 text messages, 7 BBMs, and a dozen e-mails from the girl he just saw the night before. Calling just to say hi may be one of the biggest pet peeves for men. If you’re going to call him, do it at an appropriate time (ie– not in the middle of the night, and not during office hours), and have something to say! If you have tickets to the big game and you want him to come with you, then that’s an acceptable call. If you have tickets to the big game and you want him to look for you on TV, that’s a waste of his time. Unless you have a reason to talk to him, then give him his space!
Don’t Put Out
I know withholding sex doesn’t sound like the best plan to keep a guy interested in you, but believe it or not, guys admit that they like the chase of sex better than the satisfaction of actually getting it. Guys never get bored when they have something to strive for, and when that something is a person, it’s very likely that even when they conquer their prize, they still want to hold onto the trophy.
Take Cues From Him To Know What He Wants
Guys aren’t as subtle as women are when it comes to getting what they want. It’s usually extremely easy to read a guys face to know what they want. If he looks like he likes something, he probably does! Whether it’s what you’re doing, what you’re talking about, or if he wants to get out of a date, it’s extremely easy to see what a guy wants. Take the cues from him to keep him happy.
Don’t Push Him
The biggest mistake women do in the early stages of relationships is push their date into something they’re not ready for. You see it in singles dating all the time: One party is looking for a serious relationship and the other is looking to simply fool around. Now, for whatever reason, a lot of women think it’s a good idea to push guys into a serious relationship when they’re not ready. All this does is make them even less inclined to get into a relationship! If you think you can change your mind on your relationship status, do it with actions, not with words. Nagging him into a relationship won’t end well for you.
There you have it! The five ways to make sure your new man doesn’t get bored within the first few weeks of the relationship. If you’re doing any of these things now, you have two options: Either stop doing them, or say goodbye to your future with him!